The PlayGround DFX2 Forum

I went to visit Tonto and asked him what he was doing. He said, ‘I’m doing a jigsaw puzzle of a chicken’. I asked, ‘How is that going?’. He said, ‘Ok… but so far I can only find pieces of the chickens beak’. I moved forward the see what he was working on, looked at scattered pieces and the box and s...

A man’s wife was lying in bed crying.

Her husband walks in and asks “what’s wrong?”

“I had a dream where a prince took me from you” she replies.

The husband says “Oh my dear, relax it was just a dream.”

To which the wife retorts “that’s why I’m crying!”

A couple are in bed asleep when the phone rings at 2am. The husband wearily picks up the phone. After a few seconds, he replies, "How should I know? I'm not the bloody weather man!" and hangs up. "Who was that?" asks his wife. "Dunno, he just asked if the coast is clear toni...

A married couple go on vacation to Jerusalem. The entire time the wife nags the husband. Unexpectedly, the wife passes away. The funeral director tells the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150.” The man thought about it and tells th...

Gawd, he's still alive? Happy 90th Birthday!

Blazin Guns walks into a bar in Toronto and orders a drink.

The bartender, noticing his accent, asks him "what brings you to Canada?"

Blazin Guns says, "well, I was in a pub in England and the coaster under my glass said 'Drink Canada Dry', so I thought I'd give it a shot."

I went to the gas station this morning and asked for five dollars worth of gas.


The clerk farted and gave me a receipt

How does the moon cut his hair?



Eclipse it.

I saw this poor old lady fall down the stairs and hurt herself.



I assume she was poor because I didn’t find more than $1.50 in her wallet.

What do you call a lizard that doesn’t work?



A reptile dysfunction