strange events

[UK-Sapper]

Two 4 year old boys were in the toilets taking a leak
when one looked over and said "hey you have not got a forskin"
the other replied "no I was circumsized when i was two weeks old"

Jesus I bet that hurt.

Hurt i could not walk for a bloody year.......


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three nuns sitting on a wall
when suddenly a streaker run by
two had a stroke the other could not reach.


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I young lad was sitting on the curbside (sidewalk) playing with a blob of acid.
when a vicar came by.

vicar "boy what are you doing"

boy " me vicar, I'm playing with this blob of acid"

vicar " my boy you should not play with that, here play with this" handing the boy a small bottle

boy "whats this vic"

vicar " thats holy water, when I rubb that on a womans stomic she passes a baby"

boy " ha ha one up on you vic I rub this on that dogs balls he passes a formula 1"



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A theif breaks into a house, as he moves around a room he hears

"Jesus is watching you"

the theif turns quickly with his flashlight but see nothing

again
"Jesus is watching you"

again he spins round looking for the voice

"Jesus is watching you"

this time the theif looks in the corner of the room and theres a parrot

"Jesus is watching you"

laugthing the theif says "hello Jesus" to the parrot

the parrot replies "Im moses, Jesus is the wolf behind you"